Voldemorticia (easy_peasy_24) wrote in atthemangostand,
Voldemorticia
easy_peasy_24
atthemangostand

Fanfiction: Analysis (Mary/Marshall)

Title: Analysis
Fandom: In Plain Sight
Characters/Pairing: Mary Shannon/Marshall Mann
Summary: Mary rarely feels vulnerable. Raph can do that. But Marshall can do it in a different way.
Notes: Spoilers for like everything.
Word count: 973



Leo's adoption party.

It isn’t until Marshall is holding their youngest child that she begins to get snarky.

“What is the deal with babies? I don’t get them.”

What is the deal with Marshall? I don’t get him.

Like this. Things like this catch Mary off-guard and get her throat too thick for her to speak.

Which really pisses her off.

She shouldn’t be left feeling vulnerable because he’s playing with a fucking baby. It makes sense that he is. It’s Marshall. But although she doesn’t change her stance, she crosses her arms tighter while she watches him.

* * *

It hurts to look at him sometimes.

With his riotous still-sleeping hair and his little airplane PJs. It’s three in the morning and he doesn’t have any pretenses. Not right now. It’s just him.

And Mary knows him well enough to get that. She can see it when he’s punching her and making her spill Stan’s coffee on him and when he berates her for not tipping the coffee people and when he buys her an extra crappy churro even though he knows she’s just going to throw it out anyway. But it still catches her unawares and makes her chest constrict. Like it does when she sees him playing with a fucking baby.

And then he draws himself up. And he’s taking care of that kid and her throat constricts again—and so she crosses her arms even tighter. He’s a good man—and this impresses her now far more than he ever will when he is trying.

* * *

Mary rarely feels vulnerable.

Raph can do that.

But Marshall can do it in a different way. He can look at her that way, which feels sharply painful even to Mary, who’s pretending not to notice. He can wake up in plane pajamas and disheveled hair and be too tired to be anything but nakedly honest. That’s almost worse than anything because that makes her feel soft-bodied and makes her want to sob for the deep, painful loss of something even if she doesn’t even know what. Which in turn makes her want to kick herself real hard for being a sappy little shit.

And then there’s dressing like this.

She looks like a whore. She feels physically naked and thoroughly dirty—like there is slime on her skin that she is now going to have to scrub off but which she will never quite get out.

But instead of Marshall seeing her in a new light or in a new way or taken aback (although she is sure he is all three) she feels like she is seeing Marshall for the first time. Does he always look at her like this? And why can’t he look at her? And why is he sitting so stiffl—what the hell is going on in that car?—

Christ. Jesus hail Mary Joseph mother and god.

She has given her best friend a boner.

* * *

She has managed to forget about the boner—although it has been on her mind all night. Marshall. Jesus Christ. Her best friend.

But it’s honestly not that hard to forget when you’re standing less than twenty feet away from your witness and two South African diamond dealers with guns they’re itching to use trained on her.

“Follow my lead.”

Let me muss up your hair and untuck and rumple your shirt. Hold still. Let me smear lipstick on your face. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait.

Where did this come from?

“What are you doing!?

Goddammit, Marshall! Couldn’t you have done this some other damn time? Because maybe then I wouldn’t have stop—

“Just follow my lead!

She’s out of the barn and a good twenty paces ahead of him, but she can still hear him whisper, “I thought I was!

* * *

They’re outside and they’re waiting until nightfall.

“You should try and get out then.”

She doesn’t want to.

“It’s going to get ugly.”

Goddammit, Marshall! Doesn’t she know that!? I’m not going to leave you here, you festering idiot! I lo—

No. No. No. No. No. No. She can’t.

Nightfall is coming.

“Am I the reason you wanna go? Because of how I am?”

“It has more to do with—” He is paler now than he was five minutes ago. “—How I am.”

Don’t die, you dipshit. Don’t die.

Don’t lie.


“I can’t believe I’m getting the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech from you! Am I really the reason you want to leave the Marshals Service?”

“No.” He looks at her. “Not exactly.”

It’s painful to look at him because he’s looking at her like he’s dying and it’s not because of the fucking wound. And she gets it. She probably should have gotten it the first time she ever saw that look on his face. But she gets it now.

Oh.

“I feel like” I love you.

Mary is so sure that there is nothing else he can say—nothing else he could possibly want to say—nothing else that she could possibly want him to—

No. No. No. No.

“—I’m the keeper of this—exotic—animal.”

Oh.

Maybe she’s disappointed. Maybe a little. Maybe a little bit. But there is no way in hell that Mary Shannon is going to let herself acknowledge it.

Marshall Mann is her best friend.

* * *

The hospital.

Come on, Marshall, you douchebag. Don’t die or I’ll kill you.

I need you.


She doesn’t even like thinking that because Mary Shannon isn’t supposed to need anyone.

But she knows when she’s beat, even if she takes a while for her to admit it. And this time around Mary was beat a long time ago.



This is the first time I have ever written fanfiction so constructive criticism is welcome and more than encouraged. Let me know what you thought of it!
Tags: fiction, fiction: fandom: in plain sight
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Re: Review

easy_peasy_24

June 24 2008, 16:16:11 UTC 9 years ago Edited:  June 24 2008, 16:27:06 UTC

Really? Thank you!
Wow. WOW! This was such a wonderful look into Mary's head, and I really love that a part of her knows how Marshall feels and it kills her, and she hates herself for not being able to face his feelings, and I adored the part where she talked about him in his PJs, being too tired to hide anything. So, so perfect. This was awesome, and I hope that you plan on writing more M&M in the future!
Wow, thank you so, so much! I'm so glad to hear that I'm not crap! :D

For as long as our fandom remains small, I will probably be writing fanfiction. And hopefully for longer than that, too. We'll see how it plays out. :]
Very cute, nice insights, you have a good grasp of the characters :D And the bit about the boner was priceless!
Thank you so much--I'm glad to hear I did a good job with this! :)
Oh, this was excellent!

It was a great look at Mary's thought process and I think that you captured her very well, especially the way she leaves a lot of things unsaid. Also, that when she eventually (hopefully) admits feelings for Marshall on the show, she will be a little pissed at him for making her feel that way. And this, "It’s painful to look at him because he’s looking at her like he’s dying and it’s not because of the fucking wound." was my favorite line. The expression on his face in that scene pretty much killed me.

Anyway, I think I just rambled a bit, but this really was very good, and I hope that you write more! :)
I know I know I know. That scene left me like... Guh. Oh my god. Marshall. Because it literally looks like he is dying and it obviously has nothing to do with the damned bullethole and everything to do with Mary. I think my heart broke like five billion times. Anyway, I'm so, so glad you liked it! :)

fall_underwater

9 years ago

easy_peasy_24

9 years ago

fall_underwater

9 years ago

easy_peasy_24

9 years ago

I really liked this.

You captured the moments perfectly...what she was thinking. What you know he was going to say. All the things the writers didn't put in but you knew were there...you said just right.

Thank you.
for this being your first time I am thoroughly impressed. lol you don't even want see my first.

I love so much that Mary sees how he feels and then uses his way of covering over it by saying he's the keeper to make herself feel less accountable for harboring his love secret. When he says no, not exactly, you can see it in her face she knows, she knows, and just doesn't want to face it, and i think he knows that.

Her inner monologue was perfect, and my favorite line, lol out of all of them, was Come on, Marshall, you douchebag. Don’t die or I’ll kill you. I can so imagine her saying that, like a little while after she's broken down and building her mary persona back up. The fight with herself of seeing Marshall as her best friend and more and then trying to ignore all of his not to subtle reactions, you've done it perfectly.

I loved this story and I hope you continue to write m/m, and ff in general because you are great. :many shippy m/m moments for you:
Thank you, thank you! Holy shit there are like a million comments. Whoazers!

I do write, so it's not like this is my first time writing. Just my first time with fanfiction. (Okay... maybe my 1 1/2th. I once tried to write Dramione but quit after the second sentence because it was drek. So in my mind it doesn't count.) But I liiiiike it! :]

fatherleary

9 years ago

Deleted comment

This is your first fic? Well, hold on, because you won't get out of writing more now ;]

That first line was a tease - I was terrified you were pulling a est-relationship job and they'd procreated. I'm not sure my heart's quite ready for that!

It's a lovely fic. Technically and emotionally. I love the use of parallelism and rhyming to take us into thoughts that true about their relationship and Mary's takes on it. And there's a beautiful balance of what Mary sees v what she says (like re Marshall in the car, and the pj scene) and still leaving some bits underanalyzed (like the conversation where they're pinned down.)

One little nitpick- the scene with the punching and the coffee spilling technically happened 18 months previous to the current string of events. So it's a little weird she'd bring it up here, though insomuch as the fic is running us back through the episodes, it's a nice reference.
Oh my holy shit god. It didn't even occur to me that that might have come across. You just gave me like a heart attack. No kiddin' your heart isn't ready for that. Mine's not either!

I'm so, so glad you like it. :] You're right about the coffee bit, too, but now I can't think of any comparable bits to reference in its place... so let's just pretend that stuff like that happens on like a daily basis. (Which, in all honesty, it probably does. :P )
Very nice, especially for your first fic :) It's a lot like how I wrote my first--using the real scenes & dialogue, but putting in the thoughts.
Thanks so much! Yeah... I didn't even want to begin trying to create dialogue for those two from scratch. Because, I mean, in general, I'm not very good at being funny. So that might have been a problem...
Very nicely done. Everybody has pretty much said what I was thinking. But I'll just say again that this was a very nice foray into Mary's mind, and I loved seeing the progression of her thoughts through the episodes.
You did a great job with this. You really have a firm grasp on the characters and was able to get into their minds. I really enjoed this. I hope we see more from you in the future. n_n
Amazing job. :)
I loved this.
He’s a good man—and this impresses her now far more than he ever will when he is trying.

OH. That line. I love it so much.

I really enjoyed this fic! :D I can't believe it's your first! I like your phrasing and characterization of Mary.

The only tiny thing I might change would be the opening line, which I think is what caused the confusion about this being babyfic - if you change the "their" to something more specific, so we know it someone's else's baby... Just a suggestion!
Yeeeeah. I should probably do that. :-/
I just love that line so much!

scarletumbrella

9 years ago

I really enjoyed this! It made me laugh, it made me... well, you know that weird feeling you get in your chest when you watch unrequited love portrayed? (You know, that feeling you probably had when Marshall did everything but confess to loving her?) Yeah, it made me feel that. :-)
Wow.

This is good.

Loved it!

What episode is that when Marshall is in his plane undies?

I didn't remember that part, but everybody writes about it in their fic.
Constructive, probly not, but this was really fabulous. I definitely agree that you seem really tuned into Mary's head... lots of overt anger in our girl, and unexpressed love. It's greatness, really is. Hope to see more.

I didn't realize how much I loved them, or how very Josh/Donna they were til I read your fic. So, kudos!
Your first time? This was great! Tons of fun and in-character.
*squee~!

Late in commenting because I was out camping and fishing with the family and oh noes there's no internets, ZMG, I about died (except for the plotbunnies as thick as mosquitos)

er.
I hope you find this comment.
*waves pom-poms*

I love all the quote and I frelling adore the fact that you weren't afraid to use language, because Mary SO uses language. And she calls him rude names in her head because she's a tough gal and ... she really doesn't know any other way to conduct her life.

Your Mary is the same one I see. *happy dances*
For a first timer, this is practically a work of art ;)

I read a lot of fanfic, it's one of my hobbies, and tho I'm brand new to the Mary/Marshall Fandom, this is a beautiful and true piece of fic. I think you caught their voices very well, I definitely feel like Mary would swear more than she can on TV, and her inner voice is perfect.

I love your version of her head during th ekiss in NTB and the little convo in TH...I'm gonna have to watch them over now ;)